Before I started writing, I went back and read the two posts I wrote over a year ago: the one before my bone marrow donation and the one right after.
Here's an excerpt from my blog two days before the donation:
It's hard to believe that so many obstacles came during the summer throughout the process, but now it's two days away from my procedure. Until now, I wasn't really scared or worried or any of those things. Now things are starting to sink in. I've never been under anesthesia before. I've never had surgery. I'm not even sure if I've been in a hospital overnight before. I do know one thing; if God brought me through all of the obstacles that tried standing in my way during the summer, then He will get me through this obstacle of being afraid. He's bigger than all of those obstacles anyways.
Something that has confused me a lot is that people have been telling me, "you're so unselfish" and "you're so brave." That's encouraging to me and super uplifting but sometimes it's hard for me to believe those words. Honestly, I think of this opportunity as an incredible blessing in my life, but y'all I'm scared. When I first signed up to donate, I was doing it more out of the "everyone is doing this", "I get to save some one's life", "I might not ever even have to donate," mentality, but now it has become so much more to me. Jesus calls us to serve others. If that means giving up something like bone marrow that my body will eventually replenish so that a teenaged girl who needs it in order to survive can receive it, than by all means, that's what I'll do. When people say, "this is such an unselfish act," I think to myself, "But I am selfish. What if it hurts me? What if it takes a long time to recuperate? What if I get really sick?" And the whole, "you're so brave," thing. Y'all, I'm a chicken when it comes to some things. I like new things and I'll try just about anything but there's always a slight fear. I'm not brave; I just know that Lord will sustain me throughout the procedure and the recovery. That's just me being honest. I know that this is something that the Lord has given me to do in order to help someone else.
I remember all of that being difficult to write. I kept thinking, "God, you want me to do this. You have allowed me to overcome all of these obstacles and you have this in your hands." And, he did. I just had to completely trust him. I was completely honest with how I felt as I wrote, and really coveted every one's prayers over those next few days. The procedure happened and then once I was home from the hospital I just knew I had to put it down in words. That post was super long, so I'll just include parts of it:
It seemed like most of the
day had passed, when only I had been in the back being prepped for surgery for
maybe an hour. I’ll admit, there were tears and once I even told my mom, “I
don’t think I want to do this anymore.” But in the midst of those moments, God
kept putting the recipient in my mind. Y’all, I don’t even know this girl and
God continues to enable me to love her more and more every minute. It’s cool
how He works like that isn't it?
Looking back now, it is evident how God orchestrated each little moment of that day and the days to come. He continued to put 'that girl' in my mind and allowed me to love her even when I had never met her. One last part of that post really hit me as I re-read it:
Around
12:45, I was finally discharged as “donor donor,” and we were headed off of the
Bone Marrow Transplant floor. As I passed by the pictures of patients who had
received transplants, I thought of the little girl who received mine the other
day. She has a lot more days in the hospital than I had to spend. She has a
tough recovery ahead of her. That teenaged girl... I have no idea who she is or
where she is from. I don’t know what she likes to do for fun. I don’t know what
she likes to eat. I don’t know anything about her. I don’t even know if she
knows Christ as her Lord and Savior. I do know this. God placed her in my life
for a very special reason. He didn’t place her there for my name to be known or
for my “good deed” to make everyone say, “awe, how sweet of her to do this.” He
did it because His name will be glorified through all of this. Even though I
don’t know this girl, I know that she is in the hands of an almighty God who is
the ultimate healer, provider, comforter, and protector. I pray that her
transplant went smoothly. I pray that she recovers quickly and that she is able
to live a long and healthy life. I pray that she knows Jesus and I pray that if
she doesn’t, that she will come to know Him. That’s why as Christians we do the
things we do. I pray that the gospel goes forth because of this opportunity. I
know that it has changed me and blessed me than I ever thought possible. I hope
that one day I can meet her and get to know the 15-year-old girl who had such a
huge impact in my life.
Read that last sentence again. I know I had to read it over and over again the moment I got the email telling me that I could now contact the recipient. It was an entire year from the transplant and Be the Match was telling me that I could now contact her. This was the girl that I hoped to meet, the girl that I (and so many others) and prayed for day after day. Oh, there were tears of joy reading that email. A year prior to that, I had no idea who she was or where she was from. Then, at that moment reading the email, I read that her name was Brittany. Brittany! I mean, could God have orchestrated that any more beautifully? I was still at camp when I got the email and I remember telling my team that night (with my eyes full of tears) the awesome news.
A day or so went by and then I finally sent her an email, not really sure of when I would actually hear from her. It was within a few days that we had our first email conversation. Of course, me and my awkward self addressed the subject line as "Hey! I'm your donor!" I mean, what else do you put in the subject line of the person you've never met before? And so began our weekly emails. We talked about all kinds of things: our families, our hobbies, how she was doing, how school was going, etc etc. It was so amazing to hear her heart and find out that she was doing well and able to play sports again and get back to doing the things she loved to do.
Sometime in late August, early September, my mom and I booked our flight to go and meet Brittany and her family in Iowa. I cannot even begin to tell you my excitement. So for the next few months, we chatted via email and I continued to pray for her because even though she had a good transplant and her blood counts are up, the doctors haven't necessarily said, "you are completely healed."
Then came Thanksgiving break. Mom and I flew up on that Saturday morning. I will admit, I was a tad bit nervous. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I mean I proved my awkwardness by admitting to y'all that my email was entitled "Hey! I'm your donor!" We got off the plane and just from seeing pictures on Facebook, I knew exactly who she was when I saw her. We instantly clicked.
The whole weekend was filled with fun times. I was able to meet her family and all seven of her siblings. We played card games, went ice skating, went to a birthday party, went out to eat, laughed, and talked all weekend. That weekend I gained a sister, Brittany, and seven other siblings as well. (I mean, we are kind of related now with the whole bone marrow thing). I was able to meet important people in her life and really get to know the person who had blessed me in such an incredible way only a year ago. It was by-far one of the highlights of my life.
With all of this being said, let's get back to the title of this post: "How being a donor changed my life." Like I've said before, when I registered with Be the Match, I really had NO idea what it entailed. I just saw, "save a life," and I thought, "yep, I'll be apart of that." Looking back now, I can think of several ways that being a donor changed my life.
--- I now have a forever sister.
--- I learned how to fully rely on Christ's strength when my own strength completely failed me.
--- I was able to hear the nurses' stories about recipients they've met before.
--- I learned how to truly pray for some one's healing.
--- I saw how important it is to stay true to your commitment.
--- I met and heard from so many prayer warriors.
--- I realized that nothing that this world can give us is better than Christ's love.
--- I learned that it's okay to cry when we hurt.
--- I witnessed the power of prayer.
I could go on and on about how wonderful it was to meet Brittany. I'm happy to say that it wasn't just a "one-time experience," but that we plan on meeting up again, hopefully soon. She wants to come visit Mississippi sometime, so maybe that can happen soon. Right now, I just ask that you continue to lift her up in your prayers. Pray for complete healing of her body. I know that God is the ultimate Healer and Physician and He can and does mighty things.
Thank you for being apart of this journey. It's like I've said all along, it's nothing that I do, but it's what Christ does through me. He does awesome things through His children.
Also, if you've never registered for Be the Match, I highly recommend that you consider it. Go check it out and see how your life can be changed and how God can bring someone into your life like he brought Brittany and her family into mine.
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