26 Weeks

Soon after Dalton and I started dating and knew we were serious about marriage in the future, we discussed what our family would be like. Both of us knew adoption was part of our plan. We had no idea what it would look like 5 years down the road once we were married. When Dalton proposed, he wrote me a letter that said, "I can't wait to start a beautiful, color family with you." Soon after we said, "I do," we knew that we wanted to begin our family through adoption. About 8 months into our first year, we  decided that adoption was our Plan A. Most of you know the story about Elliot, so I'm not going to backtrack on all of those details in this post (but if you aren't familiar, you can go back to my last few posts). 

We have now been home with Elliot for a year and a half, and some days it's hard to believe that it's been that long and other days I feel like he has been apart of our family his whole life. This past May, we found out we were expecting. We were over the moon for our family to be growing! I knew there would be hard times being pregnant with this baby and grieving the fact that I don't know anything about Elliot's birth mom or her pregnancy. Many times I've thought to myself, "I wonder how his birth mom felt when she found out she was expecting?, I wonder if she craved anything with him, What did she think the first time she felt him kick inside her belly?" These are all things that I will never know, so with this pregnancy, I have wondered that more than I thought I would. Adoption comes with a lot of unknowns, and until now his birth was such a foreign thing to me because I had never experienced it for myself. 

This week I am 26 weeks into our pregnancy. This baby is moving like crazy all of the time, and it is the best feeling ever! I love just sitting still and watching all of the movements. I've been sort of dreading this week in particular. Week 26. For those of you who don't know, Elliot was born at 26 weeks. We don't have many details on his birth mom or his birth, so we don't know why he was born so early. He was 1 pound and 8 ounces at birth. He stayed in the hospital for about 2 months. His birth mom never visited him after birth. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I have thought about his birth mom a lot over the past year and a half, but I especially think about her now. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could ask her questions. I wish I knew. But since I don't know, I pray for her and I thank God that for whatever reason Elliot was born early and for whatever reasons she didn't visit him, that He knew Elliot was our Plan A from the beginning. 

Elliot has been pretty inquisitive about Mommy's belly and the baby lately. He asks things like, "Why you got a baby in there?" and I explain to him that Mommy and Daddy want him to have a baby brother or sister to love. He hugs and kisses my belly and says that he's going to read books and listen to music with the baby. We know he's going to be the best big brother! 

As Elliot gets older, we know that he will have questions about his birth and his adoption. We will be open and honest with him. Since we don't know a lot about his life before us, we won't be able to answer all of his questions, but we will make sure he always knows that he was chosen by God and by us. We pray that he and this baby will always have a close bond, and that the color of their skin will only be something that other people notice at first glance. We are thankful that God chose us to be Mommy and Daddy to these two little blessings and pray for a continued healthy pregnancy so these two can become the best of friends. 

One Less for One Year

     A year ago today, Dalton and I were in a foreign country together, unable to speak the language, on a two-hour van ride with people we had known for less than 24 hours headed to meet our son for the first time. As we walked into the house, we could hear Elliot babbling in the kitchen. I remember looking at him for the first time and my heart beating at least five times faster than normal. On that Wednesday morning, our lives changed for the better. We spent the next few hours doing whatever he would let us do, even if it was just sitting by him and handing him peanuts (see the picture below). We had our little boy with us, and that was all that mattered. We also learned that day that taking pictures with an unhappy toddler is near impossible. We weren't sure if the tears came because we felt like strangers to him or if it was too close to nap time. My guess would be a combination of the two. Our first day with him went better than we could have imagined and we were so ready to be back with him the next day. In Hungary, you have a week-long bonding time while your child stays at his/her foster home or orphanage, and then he gain guardianship for 30 days before you can legally adopt. February 28th marked the start of our forever with our sweet boy. 

 

                          Elliot let us hold him for the first time on our second visit.   

                                          Every milestone was celebrated. 

     We spent the next week coming to Elliot's house and bundling him up so we could go spend time away from his foster family to help with our bonding time. We visited lots of indoor playgrounds, went to the mall countless times, and got lunch. Every day we would bring him back to his foster mom after his nap. We were exhausted, but we hated having to leave him after spending so much time with him throughout the day.  

                                                 

                                        Our first outing              At the indoor playground

                                             

                                       Our first nap with us        Hanging out at the food court

                                  

     Our time in Hungary was very memorable. We spent a lot of time exploring as well as spending time indoors because all of the snow. We visited zoos, parks, rode the train to Budapest, and enjoyed being a family of three for the first time.

                                                 
                           Elliot and Mama at the indoor  Elliot and Daddy on the slide.     
                                        playground.                                                                                  

                                                    

                                Elliot with his new toys              Elliot got a fresh cut.    

                                                     
                                              We collected Disney stickers from the 
                                                 supermarket for our apartment.

                                                 

                                                         Our first train ride

                           
     Our time in Hungary was long. Six and a half weeks away from your home and your people is hard enough, but being first time parents away from all of that will really make you miss your home. We loved the time we were able to invest in Elliot during our time in country. We bonded together as a family without any distractions and we are so thankful for the process that allowed us to do that. On April 9, 2018, Elliot officially became a Newell. *cue happy tears* We spent the last few days in country exploring the beautiful city of Budapest. On the 13th of April, we were welcomed by all of our family and many of our friends for the first time as Newell Party of Three.   

                                      

                            Elliot became a Newell!!                 "Officially a Newell"

            

                                                             Our welcoming crew

     Once we were home, we started learning how to live life as a family of three. We had learned a lot in our adoption trainings and times with our social worker. We had spoken with several families who had adopted already. All of these things were great and really helped us tremendously, but sometimes we were in the trenches and days were hard and long. We learned very quickly how strong-willed toddlers can be. We knew that God had called us to this and that He would be with us during the good days and in the bad. We are incredibly thankful for Elliot. He was created for our family. Without a doubt, God was looking down on us on the day he was born.

     It's wild to think that Elliot has been with us for a year. We had dreamed and prayed about the day we would meet our child for years. February 28th will always be such a sweet day for our family. In the fun times, we thank God for His goodness, and in the hard times, we thank God for His grace. Elliot is such a loving little boy. He loves going to church, school, Peenie & Pop's house, and Sassy and Papaw's house. He loves food and usually makes a bit of a scene when he sees his food coming at a restaurant. He wants to pray for his friends every night. He says please and thank you. He loves to help around the house. He loves to snuggle and he loves anything that plays music. (We have gone through a LOT of batteries trying to make sure all of his toys keep working). There are moments in a day when he struggles to find the words he wants to say to us. He gets mad at times and can throw a pretty good fit when he doesn't get his way. But we are continuing to learn each other and we are learning what works and what doesn't work. Raising a kid is (mostly) trial and error. Dalton and I have learned from our mistakes, and we have learned that each morning brings a new day. We wouldn't trade these days for anything. In the moments when it's hard, I try to remind myself, "We could have missed this." We are so thankful that we never have to miss any of the tantrums (sometimes) and especially not any of the snuggles. 

         

                                   Library visit                    He has such a silly personality!

                                     
                                                Elliot's first trip to the beach

Elliot with his best friend/cousin, Falon

   

                                     

                              

E loves his sleep. I told y'all he was made for our family. 

He is obsessed with tractors. 

His first Halloween

                               

     Elliot spent his first Christmas with us this year. He loved Santa Claus and even got to  

          celebrate a Hungarian tradition by placing his shoes in the window for St. Nicolas. 

                               

                                                           

               Elliot has the funniest personality. He has grown up so much in this past year! 

Elliot's first trip to Disney World

Norbert Elliot Newell, 

You are so dearly loved. Thank you for making us Mommy and Daddy. We pray that you will always have such a big heart and a big personality. We pray that you would continue to love others as well as you do. We pray that as you grow you will continue to be nurturing, inviting, creative, and kind. We pray that you would always put Jesus first and that you would put others before yourself. You are such a special little boy and are going to great, big things in this world! We cannot wait to watch you as your grow (but Mommy prays that you will never outgrow her lap!)

We love you E!

Happy One Year Together!