We have now been home with Elliot for a year and a half, and some days it's hard to believe that it's been that long and other days I feel like he has been apart of our family his whole life. This past May, we found out we were expecting. We were over the moon for our family to be growing! I knew there would be hard times being pregnant with this baby and grieving the fact that I don't know anything about Elliot's birth mom or her pregnancy. Many times I've thought to myself, "I wonder how his birth mom felt when she found out she was expecting?, I wonder if she craved anything with him, What did she think the first time she felt him kick inside her belly?" These are all things that I will never know, so with this pregnancy, I have wondered that more than I thought I would. Adoption comes with a lot of unknowns, and until now his birth was such a foreign thing to me because I had never experienced it for myself.
This week I am 26 weeks into our pregnancy. This baby is moving like crazy all of the time, and it is the best feeling ever! I love just sitting still and watching all of the movements. I've been sort of dreading this week in particular. Week 26. For those of you who don't know, Elliot was born at 26 weeks. We don't have many details on his birth mom or his birth, so we don't know why he was born so early. He was 1 pound and 8 ounces at birth. He stayed in the hospital for about 2 months. His birth mom never visited him after birth. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I have thought about his birth mom a lot over the past year and a half, but I especially think about her now. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could ask her questions. I wish I knew. But since I don't know, I pray for her and I thank God that for whatever reason Elliot was born early and for whatever reasons she didn't visit him, that He knew Elliot was our Plan A from the beginning.
Elliot has been pretty inquisitive about Mommy's belly and the baby lately. He asks things like, "Why you got a baby in there?" and I explain to him that Mommy and Daddy want him to have a baby brother or sister to love. He hugs and kisses my belly and says that he's going to read books and listen to music with the baby. We know he's going to be the best big brother!
As Elliot gets older, we know that he will have questions about his birth and his adoption. We will be open and honest with him. Since we don't know a lot about his life before us, we won't be able to answer all of his questions, but we will make sure he always knows that he was chosen by God and by us. We pray that he and this baby will always have a close bond, and that the color of their skin will only be something that other people notice at first glance. We are thankful that God chose us to be Mommy and Daddy to these two little blessings and pray for a continued healthy pregnancy so these two can become the best of friends.
